Three Top Challenges of being a Carer: Survival Tips

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The challenges of being a carer for someone we love can be both physically and emotionally draining. It will over time affect our overall wellbeing. Ultimately, caring is an exhausting and stressful job and one of the hardest things we have to cope with.

Burnout is one of a number of experiences we face. It caused by excess stress over a sustained period of time. If we don’t look after ourselves we can quickly become exhausted. From personal experience I can certainly verify that this is the case.

Over time; often dismissing good advice from friends, family and professionals I found I could not cope anymore without making some drastic but positive changes.

There are many challenges that carer’s have to overcome. The list is endless. Three top challenges of being a carer need to be addressed in order to survive. Exploring the top 3 will help you understand how to manage your caring role and hopefully avoid or reduce chance of burnout.

Challenge 1 – Social Isolation

Social isolation is one of the main top challenges of caring for someone full time. While friends and family carry on about their daily routines and enjoying life we find ourselves left alone in caring for our loved ones. Being socially isolated can mean that we are stuck at home for lengthy periods of time with no communication or engagement with the outside world.

Carers make big sacrifices such as having to give up careers, financial stability, social life and hobbies meaning that the world we live in becomes much smaller. I found myself looking out of the window and watching people passing by and getting on with their lives. I felt angry, resentful, sad and very lonely.

Having to give up our jobs to take on a caring role means a huge loss of finances. Carer’s withdraw (from personal experience) because they don’t want to socialise; feeling that you have nothing to give, can’t afford to socialise and feel guilty if you are enjoying yourself. It becomes a vicious circle. Friends ultimately stop asking you to go out.

Loneliness can have a huge impact on carers emotionally and physically. It can lead to depression, anxiety and develop physical illnesses with lack of sleep, low energy levels and high blood pressure.

Don’t be an Island

Isolation is extremely damaging to our overall health. Being a carer leads us to let our friendships slide and as a consequence they disappear altogether.

Isolation is also internal and very personal. There is so much guilt. I felt guilty just for taking a walk to the market and stopping for a coffee on the way back. I even felt a huge sadness as my thoughts turned to ‘I hope this is over soon’. THIS IS NORMAL!

There are a few strategies we can use to help combat some of the loneliness.

Let friends know you want to be included. If getting out of the house is nigh on impossible. Invite them into your home. Supply wine and food. After all, even if its once a month, it can become a regular ‘girls/boys night in’.

Finding ways to stay connected can give you a sense of belonging, feel less alone and a distraction from your caring role and worries.

Accessing the Outside World

Access services that can help you to leave them for a short period of time. If an issue is a falls risk or wandering for example consider sourcing a personal alarm system. They give great support in alerting a fall, opening a door and gps tracker. They give option of wearing round the neck or wrist. 24hour support can give back some level of independence for both of you.

Accessing outside services can give opportunity to find outlets for you. Try a support group for carers, Join a group with your interests or restart an old hobby; this can help you to make new friends with similar interests. I revisited an old hobby of sewing and embroidery and eventually set up an Etsy shop where I sell my projects. This helps me to feel that I am doing something for me and gives me an escape from thinking about my life as a carer.

Talk to a stranger when out. Striking a conversation when in a shop or walking down the street or when in the front garden can give a sense of belonging and connection to the outside world.

Reconnect with family and friends by social media or telephone. Using technology to stay connected is a powerful tool to keep you engaged and connected with friends and family.

Speak to your GP or other health professional. They can support you in accessing support for you.

Ask Social Services for a Carers Assessment. A carers assessment is for YOU and YOUR wellbeing. Every carer in UK is entitled to one. This can include anything that you need to make your caring role easier.

Challenge 2 – Financial Stress

Carer’s often find the financial impact of caring a major challenge. Significant changes such as reducing work hours or having to give up your career altogether can lead to a drastic reduction in income. Financial hardship can cause extreme stress alongside the already stress of caring for someone. Often having to make difficult decisions in budgeting, carer’s can find themselves depressed, anxious and physically unwell as a caring role progresses and reach breaking point.

The cost of caring does not just lie with the carer’s financial sacrifice but the costs of care itself. Care support, equipment and products are very costly and can quickly consume all savings.

Financial Benefits. Carers under pension age who care for 35+ hours or more are entitled to Carers Allowance. Over pension age, once you are in receipt of your state pension this would stop. It is worth exploring whether you are entitled to pension credit as this is a ‘gateway’ benefit that can entitle you to other benefits. You can find more information about this online.

Universal Credit is available for carers of working age who have to reduce or leave work to care.

The cared for person under 65 can claim Personal Independence Payment; over 65 they can claim Attendance Allowance.

Benefits are a complex system. Information should be sought from a reliable source. Alongside navigating the benefits system and managing our limited finances, if respite, arranging care in the home or long term care is stressful and complicated. All too often the need to find and arrange care for a loved one is a minefield and the lack of information given is common. Information and guidance is needed and a very useful guidance and tool is here.

Challenge 3 – Self Care

Self care does not have to cost the earth. Being kind to ourselves is part of self care that is free.

• Read a book or magazine. Taking a little time to sit and read can help our mental state as we distract our minds from our worries
• Go for a walk or spend some time in the garden. Any opportunity to spend outside of the home is extremely beneficial.
• Take a bath or shower. Relaxing in a hot bath can be very relaxing.
• Listen to some favourite music.
• Practice mindfulness. A few minutes being ‘in the moment’ can help reduce stress. You can download free apps to guide you. Perfect for the mind and body relaxation.
• Practice yoga. You can find yoga practice on Youtube or a free app and do this at home.

The challenges of being a carer are vast. However, making small changes can make a difference. Finding little changes in my life has helped enormously. I hope you find my blog helpful to you and would love to hear about your experiences and what has helped you.