Enhance your wellbeing: Self Care tips for Carers

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Caring for someone is a very hard and often stressful job. It’s easy, and often common to put our own needs at the bottom of the pile and forget about ourselves, our individual necessities and self fulfilment. Self care is important to keep us emotionally and physically well.

You most probably have heard the old saying, (I certainly had a lot of people telling me time and time again), ‘you can’t look after them if you don’t look after yourself’. I would brush it off feeling tired of hearing it. Deep down however I knew it was true and over time I realised that I needed to change something before I become ill myself.

Guilt is a big issue, I don’t know about you but I felt and still do at times, feel guilty. Time for me felt like a massive guilt trip. Caring for someone else definitely comes with huge emotional complexities. We lose sight of ourselves; what our lives used to be like; hobbies, friends, social connections, holidays. All gone, a distant memory.

We have to recognise that our own needs and wants don’t just disappear in the face of someone else’s. We matter just as much as they do. Its not indulgent or selfish – it’s necessary.

Self Care Essentials

There is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to what we feel we want or need. When someone asks what we would like or need, we often struggle to answer honestly as what we would REALLY like we feel is not possible. We just want our old life back.

Whilst we cannot turn the clock back we can make little changes for ourselves that can help.

Social support for YOU

This, I have come to realise is an essential change that has to happen. We all need social and emotional support. I don’t know about you but I am not attuned to accepting help from others but I quickly saw the benefits of reaching out.

Looking for a local group of carers, joining a carers support group online are helpful in talking to like-minded carers going through the same thing. Ask your GP to refer you to a therapist; talking to someone in confidence that is trained in care support is useful too.

If you are struggling to connect or find any groups locally, contacting Carers UK or Dementia UK are a great source and support for helping with this.

Importance of Self Care

Incorporating a little self care into our daily routine is essential and achievable. You don’t have to develop a whole new routine. Often the most basic strategies can reap rewards for our health.

• Take a walk. I know, I know, I hear you, ‘how do I find time to take a walk when I can’t leave them for 5 minutes! I said exactly the same thing. I had to find time to take a breather. I find going first thing in the morning before my husband is awake better for me. It’s finding the right time for you that’s important.

• Stay in touch with friends and family. Being a carer can be very isolating. Our social network starts to disappear leaving us feeling very alone. If you can’t go out to them you can invite them to you. Having conversation with others outside of your caring relationship is important. I certainly miss conversation and value every moment having chats and a laugh over a cup of coffee about ‘other stuff’ that we used to take for granted. However there is also value in talking through your worries and stress. They often don’t realise how caring impacts on our lives.

Treat Yourself

As a carer we have acknowledge that we have our own needs. Taking care of ourselves is not saying ‘ me first’, it’s saying ‘me too’. Treating ourselves occasionally is not always about spending lots of money but about acknowledging that we matter too. The occasional treat is acknowledging that we matter too. A lovely skincare gift set from Neal’s Yard Remedies is perfect for making you feel special. Neal’s Yard Remedies have a lovely selection of pampering beauty products that are perfect for treating yourself.

Get enough relaxation and sleep

Lack of sleep only makes life feel a lot worse. I can speak from personal experience that when I am tired (often due to disrupted nights) I get very irritable and snappy and my patience is vastly reduced. Although there is not a lot we can do with the disrupted sleep pattern as this is often dictated by the person we care for there are some small strategies we can implement that can make a little difference.

• Reduce our caffeine intake. Drinking caffeinated drinks before bedtime can keep us awake and reduce our sleep quality. It is recommended that avoiding caffeine mid afternoon helps aid sleep.

• Having a regular bedtime routine can help our body clock know when it is time to rest.

• Try meditation, mindfulness or relaxation techniques to help calm your body and mind before bedtime. Treat yourself to a gorgeous night time organic herbal night time bundle to aid sleep and make you feel spoilt and indulged from Neal’s Yard Remedies.

• Talk to your GP or other health professionals if you are struggling to sleep. They may be able to help you with developing better sleep hygiene, talking therapies and help to develop different techniques.

Maintain your own hobbies and interests

When you are looking after someone else 24/7 it is so easy to put your own needs aside. We lose our identity when we lose our passions for life. It’s important to make room for ourselves. Looking after someone greatly reduces our opportunity for time to ourselves and the pressures drastically cut our leisure time down. If we don’t find these opportunities then we are at risk of losing it altogether.

Simple things such as popping on the radio or putting on your favourite music and having a sing a long. Sitting down and reading your favourite book or magazine with a cuppa or finding an hour or two a week to do your favourite crafts can all make such a difference to your state of mind and increase your sense of well being

Look after your physical health

If you can, look for a class that you may like to try. Yoga, Pilates or aqua aerobics are perfect for mind and body exercise. If you cannot get away from the home try some seated exercise or exercise that you can do at home and fit into your daily routine.

Try some breathing exercises. You can get some good free apps on your phone that offer breathing exercises. Learning to breathe more deeply can help you feel calmer and can be done anywhere.

If you have a garden or balcony. spend some time outside. Spending time outside can be great for your physical and mental health.

Whatever strategies you take on its important that you don’t let your wellbeing slip. The trick is to do something little and often so that it becomes part of your daily routine; as they say ‘every little helps!’ Remember you have to be well to be a carer.

And Finally…Don’t be too hard on yourself

Accept that there are good days and bad. Some days you can cope better than others. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to take some time for yourself, even 5 minutes is better than nothing.