Carer Burnout. Warning Signs and Self Care Survival

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Carer burnout can happen over time and you may not even be aware of it or recognize the warning signs. Often others see the signs before we do.

When you are devoting all your time, energy and resources to taking care of others, you find that you are neglecting to take care of yourself. Everyone is different and some have more capacity than others. This does not mean that you are a failure if you are burnt out quicker than someone else. Its just being human.

Everyone’s caring role and circumstances are different; but that does not take away the fact that you are giving your life caring for someone else.

There is a lot of information out there regarding carer’s burnout, offering strategies and solutions. The reality of a caring role is that despite advice and strategies offered our caring role continues. From experience, advice and concern is acknowledged then you return to the situation that is burning you out.

Carer Burnout Signs and Symptoms

Carer burnout is in a nutshell, physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Often feeling isolated, unappreciated and unsupported.

Even the most resiliant of people succumb to burnout over time. A Carer’s own needs are always at the bottom of the pile and more often entirely neglected.

Burnout can include:

• Constant tiredeness
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Feeling of burden, resentment and worry
• Feeling angry
• Impatience, easily snappy
• Self neglect
• Isolating self
• Loss of enjoyment
• Feeling very sad and down
• Health problems, headaches
• Increased guilt

Care factors that lead to burnout can include:

• Feeling that you have no choice in being a carer
• Living with the cared for
• Constant 24 hr caring role
• Having to juggle care role with other responsibilities i.e. children, spouse, work
• Feeling alone
• Having to give up work, social life
• Financial difficulties
• Feeling helpless and depressed
• Loss of social life leading to isolation
• Unsupported by others including health and social care professionals
• Little or no free time to self

As a carer, you are so consumed by the caring role that you don’t see how much impact it has on your wellbeing and health. Constant stress takes its toll. Often it feels that there is nothing that can make it any better. Although no magic wand can take it all away, there steps that can be taken to help manage some of the stress better. Taking a break from a caring role is key.

Strategies to reduce Carer Burnout

Asking for help and being able to accept help becomes unavoidable in helping to reduce carer stress. Reach out to friends and family and letting them know how much stress you are under. Ask them if they can spend an hour or two looking after them so you can have some time out.

Sometimes its difficult to ask for help but believe me it becomes an essential strategy when you are reaching your limit (speaking from experience).

Joining a support group is useful. Other carers in groups can empathise with what you are going through and can share good advice. Support groups are useful too in reconnecting to the social world and help make you feel less alone. You can take your loved one with you or go alone.

Speak to your GP or other health professionals involved. Let them know you are stressed and burning out. Ask for more support i.e. community nurses and teams, referrals to relevant support groups.

Speaking to your health professionals about your own health too is vitally important. Letting them know that you need help can allow discussion on a way forward to meeting your needs. E.g. referrals for emotional support such as counselling and ensuring you get regular health check ups.

Find a way to reconnect with old friends or make new. A cup of coffee or a walk with a friend can help you feel more connected emotionally and physically.

Take a bit of time out during your caring role for a pamper half hour. Often our days and nights are so taken over by giving self care to our loved ones that we neglect our own self care.

Treating yourself to a hot bubbly bath or steamy shower is a good start. Spend a few moments painting your nails or just sitting reading a book can give our minds and body a break. It is also an opportunity to put yourself first for a change!

Where to Go for Help and Advice

Contact your social services (UK). Request a carers assessment for YOU. This looks at your needs as a carer and can offer you what your area has available to support you. (My blog is UK based, hence UK information. Outside UK look for what is available in your area). You will also have the opportunity to discuss outside care opportunities to give you a break and make relevant referrals for this on your behalf or supply you with the information to do this.

Social services can discuss with you external care for your loved one to give you a break and help with care needs. A needs assessment would be carried out to assess the cared for needs and then discuss what they consider you need and want to assist with those needs. Depending on your financial situation it may be that a financial assessment is carried out to assess level of financial contribution made from your Local Authority or if you have sufficient savings to self fund this yourself. Click on the links to read more about this on the official government sites.

Consider respite care for your loved one to enable you to have more regular breaks. A lot of carers carry immense guilt at the idea of respite care but (again from experience) you need to look after yourself to enable you to continue to look after them.

Guilt and denial is common. Often as a carer we want to do the best we can. Accepting that outside help is needed is often viewed as failing those that we are caring for. From personal experience, accepting help was the best thing I have done in ensuring that they are getting the care needed that I could not provide.

Self Care for the Carer

A carer needs to look after themselves to be able to look after their loved one. Putting yourself back up the ladder of priorities is needed to help reduce chance of burnout. Its not selfish, its a requirement.

A little bit of pampering can go a long way. It does not have to be a major event; Finding little windows of opportunity to do something for yourself can help reduce stress building; particularly when days are not going so well.

Having a soak in a hot bubble bath can help relax the mind and body. Treat yourself to a nice bath soak to help sooth your body.

If you have the opportunity of someone who is able to sit with your loved one. Or you are able to leave them for half an hour, take that opportunity to go for a walk. Treat yourself to a coffee in your favourite cafe or meet a friend for a coffee and a natter.

Turn your phone off and sit and read a book or watch a favourite movie.

If you are able and you are tired, turn your phone off and take a nap.

Join a carers group, walking group or an interest of your choice. Reconnecting socially can really help boost your wellbeing and reduce isolation and loneliness.

Overall, there is no magic wand that can take away the impact of a caring role. However small strategies and acknowledging and accepting help is key to survival of burnout.

I do hope that you have found my blog post helpful. Please also look at my other posts for further tips and supportive advice and information. Sign up to my newsletter for notification of future posts as they are released. You can also find me on Instagram and Pinterest.